I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i've created a new STD.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
