We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Found the puke drawer
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
