I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
