I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
