i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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