is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
