Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
