I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize