just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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