There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
