hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
