i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
