how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
