Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
