so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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