I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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