Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
