Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
