sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
