You made me cry and you don't even care
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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