Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
