I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
