thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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