You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
