Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
