Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
