i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
