It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
