I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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