An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize