Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
