If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
