TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
