This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
