Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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