He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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