I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
