My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I need moral support for this bender
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
