I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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