Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
