I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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