we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
