SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
