Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
