We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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