My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
