Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
