don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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