stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Randomize
