did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
nutella sex= disaster
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
