I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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