her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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