so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
