He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
