you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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