Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
