Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
