I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize