You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I did not marry a roomba.
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