is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
