so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
