sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
