my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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