guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
third nipple confirmed
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
