Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
As shirtless as possible
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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