All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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