just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
