if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
